Psalm 90

"A prayer of Moses, the man of God."

For the first time, I kept in mind who the author of the song was as I read,
lending much more depth to the meaning.

A song of the eternal, verses the mortal.

Moses begins with the assertion of who God is.   Recall God's words to him from
the burning bush, when Moses asked for the name of this God who was sending him
back to Egypt to lead the people out by God's mighty hand....."I Am."

Self existing;   no beginning and no end;  everlasting;  Infinite.

But we.....Moses goes on.....are not.  We are dependent upon God( as defined above), for
everything....life, breath, sustenance. We have a beginning,   and most definitely and end.

When compared to God's eternal state, our life is but a breath.  (I hear Ecclesiastes here!)
We count days and years.  But to God, who does not, for He is infinite, a thousand years are like a day.

We rise up.   We fall down.
We are born.  Then we die.
And all the years in between are marked by labor and sorrow......and God's wrath on our sin.
(recall who wrote the psalm and the wanderings of the people in the wilderness because of their sin.  I wonder if Moses wrote this after the incident in which he disobeyed God's instructions and was forbidden to enter the promised land?)
God sees all, and knows all.  Nothing is secret from Him.

So Moses asks God to teach them....."to number (their) days, that (they) might get a heart of wisdom".   In other words, help us to understand and consider our mortality, over against Your immortality, and thus to make wise choices in the time allotted to us.

His prayer is this:   That God will have compassion and be merciful!  Remember our state!
Give us as many years of gladness as You have given us sorrow!  Let not our labor and travail be for naught!  Ma we see Your hand in it all and praise you.  Establish us.....we are Your work.
And establish the work of our hands in Your favor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In recent years, the Lord brought me through a very fiery trial......teaching me of my sin of pride, and laying out my sin and failures before me.  It seemed that time would never end.  But He was faithful through it all to teach me lovingly and gently, bringing me to a "broad place" as David often says.

I have sorrowed much over my family.....wishing with everything in me that they'd had a godly father, and that I as a single mom had been less proud of my strength and capabilities, had provided better teaching and training for them in our home, and had sought better church leadership for them.

It is too late for that though.  'What if's' don't gain anything.

So I learned to pray verses 12-17 with a personal bent:

"Father,  teach me to number my days, that I might get  heart of wisdom. Return O Lord,  How long?  Have pity on Your servant!  Satisfy me in the morning with Your steadfast love, that I may rejoice and be glad all my days.  Make me glad for as many days as You have afflicted me, and for as many years as I have seen evil.  Let Your work be shown to me, and Your glorious power to my children.  Let the favor of the Lord my God be upon me, and establish the work of my hands, yes, establish the work of my hands." 

I plead with Him to redeem my mistakes.....because He is able, and I cannot.  And forgive me......for my incessant pride.