Psalm 38

 This is his song of remembrance of a time of "conviction, affliction, lonely suffering, and confident hope." (NKJV study notes).

Once again, as in Psalm 32, God's hand is heavy upon David.   He has made him miserable in his sin.
Part of me wants to know what the sin is.  But it doesn't matter.   Any sin, whether that which is considered particularly heinousand open, or that which is usually concealed and happens in our hearts and minds, when unconfessed festers and multiplies, overwhelms and destroys.

David is miserable.  He is overwhelmed.  There is no way out unless the Lord save him.  He recognizes that this misery is due to both God's indignation, and his own sin.  The weight of carrying this sin and guilt has become so great that he cannot function any more.

The Lord sees.    He knows.   Indeed, He is behind this great suffering, and is using it to sanctify David.

David is lonely.....His friends are aloof, his family has turned away.  There is no help.

His enemies are watching, waiting for the moment to snare him.  Watching for him to fail.  Waiting for him to perhaps denounce his God?  Waiting for him to cave.

He has no answer.  He is like a dead man, I believe.  He can't even defend himself.

But........

He does the right thing and runs to God.  He tells God all of it, confessing his sin and his weakness, hurt and instability.  He, still, hopes in God, for he knows God's covenant promises.  He recalls a prior prayer to not be ashamed, and for his enemies to not triumph over him.

I love verse 17 and ff......"I am ready to fall, and my sorrow is continually before me,  for I will declare my iniquity." I am not sure if he is saying that he is ready to submit to the Father in total confession and dependence on Him, or if he is saying that he is just that weary and weighed down.  Either way, he sees that his enemy is NOT weak, but 'vigorous' and strong.  They are multiplied!  He also realizes that they hate him because he seeks good......following the Lord.

I was struck with the humility here.  Even in discipline, there is no anger, no self righteousness, or promoting of his own 'rights'.  There are no 'buts'......just a humble dependence on God.

Verse 21 and 22 end it well.....I hear hope and renewal.....He has changed from describing his miserable state to calling on God to deliver.  Help!

I can relate so much to the misery of sin, or of weariness so great that I thought I wouldn't make it (spiritually speaking, anyway.   And, too few times, I must confess,  I have known the renewed vigor when I realize the reason for my state and cry out to God instead of wallowing in my misery.  I can vouch that He does indeed hear my cries!  He forgives sin, when confessed and repented of.  And He heals.   yes He does.  I am proof.